PLUG INTO LOVE

Love is the most overused word yet has the most under used expression. In our journeys of transformation we always have a habit of looking outward to gain more, seek more and grow more. We are living in a time of information explosion wherein assimilation of knowledge is a challenge, the attention span of humans is dropping which is further exhausting the brain and the body. 

On one of the daily walks with my three year old son, I was feeling agitated at the impact of climate change that we are enveloped with. I was wondering what is even left to show to our kids if this is the way we are treading forward. On yet another day while driving him back from school, I laid my hands on my phone and couldn't find it in my purse, on the side seat or the back seat. In a hurry, I took a U-turn to his school and ran my mind in all possible places that I could find, but all in vain. Even when my son tried to talk me out of the madness, I started blaming him for so much work I am doing and no one understands how hard it gets. 

As soon as we reached his school back, I opened his school bag to take out his water bottle given the rising temperatures outside and inside the car in a state of panic and I found my phone there. At that moment, he told me, "come mummy, I want to hug you". I was spellbound by his gesture. What I learnt that day was profound- love is what we need to heal inside and outside. There's so much we can do when we approach things with love. It is so important to be gentle and approach the world with love. It was a solution to so many things. I could then feel it is love and nurturing that the environment is also shouting for. It is love that we don't give ourselves enough that leads to confusion, frustration and conflicts.

So the seed to transformation begins with love. Some of the ways we can inculcate in our life are:-

I) Be gentle: When we are gentle with ourselves we open more doors to possibilities and not limitations. 

2) Build a positive mindset: The more we fixate on the negatives of a person or thing, the more our mind dwells into the negative aspects of situations and people. 

3) Monitor self talk: The voice in our head makes all the difference. If we constantly beat ourselves for our shortcomings, it can make us feel worthless, helpless and less motivated. Positive self-talk helps us move towards acceptance and love. 

4) Practice deep breathing exercises: Practicing anulom vilom pranayam everyday is the fastest way to bring relief from stress and anxiety;  it builds acceptance in us and keeps us grounded when things don't go as planned. It also encourages us to celebrate the present moment. 

5) Lower Expectations: The world appears kinder when we lower expectations from ourselves and others. It automatically eases the added pressure we put ourselves through. 

6) Sit in Nature: Spending some time in nature everyday is a reminder of taking in the calm and rejoicing in our default state which is joy. 

7) Use mindful affirmations: Research shows that self-love affirmations increase self- compassion and bring a gentler outlook to life. Writing down daily affirmations and saying it aloud while waking up and before going to bed can be a helpful first step.

For example, 

“I welcome all of today’s opportunities and challenges”

“I’m loved and cherished by the universe”

“I’m open and receptive to all the goodness life has to offer”

“It’s okay to slow down”

To sum up, we are all capable of starting from within and bringing the change that we want to see in the world. Every reaction we have significantly impacts the energy and behavior of those around us. When we respond with kindness, it encourages others to do the same. A mindful approach creates a ripple effect, spreading goodwill and courage for change. Therefore, investment in oneself enriches our lives and opens doors to more opportunities and new experiences. 

About The Author

Sonam Agarwal (Psychologist, Counselor & Chief Collaborator)

Sonam is a practicing counseling psychologist based in Delhi. She has 7+ years of experience in counseling, mentoring and business development. She pursued her bachelors and majors in Psychology from Delhi University & is an NLP practitioner. She served as an editor-in-chief of the Annual Psychology magazine in the Faculty of Arts, Delhi University.

She aims at curating a healthy and safe space for her clients. She recognizes that one size/plan doesn’t fit all. She believes that each of us has the potential to thrive when we celebrate our uniqueness and accept ourselves fully. She draws an eclectic approach, combining different therapy styles like CBT, ACT, gestalt therapy, positive psychology and mindfulness tailored to the needs and interests of different individuals.

She works from a collaborative, strength based approach; assisting clients to be the expert of their own lives. She has worked extensively with non-profit organizations, international mentoring organizations, hospitals, clinics and startups. She has assisted adolescents, adults and elderly in coping with anxiety, depression, stress, disruptive behaviors, self-esteem, trauma, grief and relationship distress to live a more authentic and purposeful life.